In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
