I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
