So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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