I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
