somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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