Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
