Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
