they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
