You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
