You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
