batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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