He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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