based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Randomize
