That's intense
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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