in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my poor anus
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
