ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
