Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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