I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
