she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
True strength comes from lack of pants
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
