Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
