I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize