It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
