I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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