so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
