Can i not drive my cunt home
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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