i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
