hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
