So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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