Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
