That's intense
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
