tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
