lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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