Can Purell be used as lube?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
