I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
