What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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