apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
