and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
