i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am available for nakedness
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
