Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
