So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
