I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize