Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
