How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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