I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
