I like to think it a success when the cops are called
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my liver is dry heaving
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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