shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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