what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
