Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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