Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
