i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
