I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Who wears a wallet chain?!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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