do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
