we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
