I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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