I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
