i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
