So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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