HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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