Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
