i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
