Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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