Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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