I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
