i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
